Anyone watch the latest Parks and Rec?
I’m currently calculating my dues for service auction and…
This year’s auction was my TREAT YO SELF 2012
I just want to be heard
I’m probably not supposed to be here…but… hereee~~ I am…
But hope everyone’s having a great first day of the school year!!
Also SENIORS 2013 are da bombbbb…
(wait for it)
I snuck in through the window of casc for old times sake. I was sitting in the second floor lounge where we always had our huge group meetings. The couches were still as dusty as I remembered them, but that layer of filth comforted me. I stood up and jumped onto the billiards table, confident that no one would yell at me. I jumped up and down, taking advantage of the once in a lifetime chance.
A wet, sticky slob hit the back of my neck while I was in the air doing a backflip. I landed and felt a squish under my foot (i was barefoot because, well why not?) I looked to find an exploded strawberry coating my heel. ”What the heck?” I yelled out, looking around the room. I saw a little white boy with a blue and yellow stripped shirt, light blue jorts, and a red baseball cap eating a strawberry by the door. He took a big bite out of his juicy, plump, strawberry, chewed twice, and then winked at me. A shiver travelled straight down my spine.
I slowly crawled off the table. I was sure he couldn’t see me if I made slow movements, because little kids are like stupid dinosaurs or something. You move slow enough, you’re pretty much invisible. I saw the panic set into his eyes as I disappeared, but then he grinned and threw the strawberry he was eating straight at me. This made me angry. Really angry.
I ripped off my shirt and chased after him. Trust me, it was a good idea. He ran down the hallway and outside into the parking lot. He had acquired a baseball bat from somewhere and was taunting me to approach him. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I punched the ground and shattered the asphalt. I felt stronger, more muscular, and green. Well now that I think about it, not more muscular, because how can you get more muscular than me? Right? RIGHT?! Anyway, I slowly walked up to him, grabbed his pencil neck, and threw him up into the air. I triple jumped and FALCON PAWNCHED him into the sun. Then goku came and gave me a high five.
I went back to pick up my shirt, went back to court, and then ate an ice cream sandwich with Dan Kim. Well, I tried to until I realized that Randy ate the remaining 30 last night.
Sometimes I just like to go up to random old men when they’re sleeping, and raspberry the cuuhhrap out of their bellies.
And when they wake up, I shake their hands
And run off with their pants
Side note: so one time I took a MASSIVE ddong and the toilet was a little high up so my feet didn’t touch the ground and then i didn’t know but there was a large build up of gas behind my poop so when it was released it shot out at 3 x 10^8 m/s (speed of light for people who aren’t physicists…) and actually lifted me off of the toilet.
And then I heard applause and saw that I was on a game show.
And then I woke up and realized I had pooped in my bed
So I placed it in Mike’s arms while he was sleeping to make it look like he was cradling a small, brown yam.
It was really my poop
This is John YoHan Choi recording live from somewhere
I was in the physical science building for an info session and I had to pee. So I went to the men’s bathroom and went to the urinal to pee. I was the only guy in there. I zipped down and started while leaning my forehead on the wall an inch from my face with my eyes closed.
Note: The urinals are the first of things that you see when you open the bathroom door.
Right after I started I heard the front door open, which isn’t anything foreign in the men’s public bathroom. I mean its a public bathroom, guys come in and out all the time.
But I heard a females voice. I heard her say, “Oh shoot! Wait hold up I’m sorry” in a shaniquah-esque tone.
My eyes opened wide and I turned to my left and saw a black woman making her way out of the bathroom. Ah. Embarrassing.
The Tale of 2A Egan
I just gave a tour of 2A to 2 young ladies, by myself, without any 2A residents.
Let me give a little background story.
4:25 PM - Knock onto 2A door, knock knock knock then say John Choi out loud.
4:26 PM- Enter and proceed into living room to take off pants.
4:30 PM- Enter bathroom with NS1150 practice prelim to take while doing my thang in there.
4:32 PM- Screaming TRUE! and FALSE! and ‘What! Thats not true!’ as I am completing the T/F section of the test while sitting on the can. Then I hear a knock on the door. Someone calls out ‘Hello it is Mary Guttenheimer(berg?)!’
Okay no more time labels. Now I am on the toilet and I am panicking because I am the only one in 2A, taking a crap, and I do not even live here. I yell out to Mary, “Ah! Oh! Sorry! I am… sorry I’ll be out!”
Mary responds, “Oh no its okay! Sorry! We’ll come back in 5 min!”
I was embarrassed. I do what i gotta do rush outta the bathroom and try to find some shorts in jon korean name lee’s room. I prepare to think of lines to say if they ask, “So which room is yours?” and “So how do you like this place?”
When they came I described the layout and all those whatnots. And one of these white girls was filming all that was going on and I was interviewed. I had to hold in my laughs so hard.
And now they’re gone and I will go back to finish what was started at 4:30 PM. My practice test.