Saturday, October 20, 2012

Anyone watch the latest Parks and Rec?

jahnkim:

I’m currently calculating my dues for service auction and…

image

My. Goodness.


This year’s auction was my TREAT YO SELF 2012

yes. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I just want to be heard

I’m probably not supposed to be here…but… hereee~~ I am…

But hope everyone’s having a great first day of the school year!!

Also SENIORS 2013 are da bombbbb…

(wait for it)

BOOM.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Bacon Barrage

I snuck in through the window of casc for old times sake.  I was sitting in the second floor lounge where we always had our huge group meetings.  The couches were still as dusty as I remembered them, but that layer of filth comforted me.  I stood up and jumped onto the billiards table, confident that no one would yell at me.  I jumped up and down, taking advantage of the once in a lifetime chance.

A wet, sticky slob hit the back of my neck while I was in the air doing a backflip.  I landed and felt a squish under my foot (i was barefoot because, well why not?)  I looked to find an exploded strawberry coating my heel.  ”What the heck?” I yelled out, looking around the room.  I saw a little white boy with a blue and yellow stripped shirt, light blue jorts, and a red baseball cap eating a strawberry by the door.  He took a big bite out of his juicy, plump, strawberry, chewed twice, and then winked at me.  A shiver travelled straight down my spine.

I slowly crawled off the table.  I was sure he couldn’t see me if I made slow movements, because little kids are like stupid dinosaurs or something.  You move slow enough, you’re pretty much invisible.  I saw the panic set into his eyes as I disappeared, but then he grinned and threw the strawberry he was eating straight at me.  This made me angry.  Really angry.

I ripped off my shirt and chased after him.  Trust me, it was a good idea.  He ran down the hallway and outside into the parking lot.  He had acquired a baseball bat from somewhere and was taunting me to approach him.  I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I punched the ground and shattered the asphalt.  I felt stronger, more muscular, and green.  Well now that I think about it, not more muscular, because how can you get more muscular than me?  Right?  RIGHT?!  Anyway, I slowly walked up to him, grabbed his pencil neck, and threw him up into the air.  I triple jumped and FALCON PAWNCHED him into the sun.  Then goku came and gave me a high five.

I went back to pick up my shirt, went back to court, and then ate an ice cream sandwich with Dan Kim.  Well, I tried to until I realized that Randy ate the remaining 30 last night.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Realization

Sometimes I just like to go up to random old men when they’re sleeping, and raspberry the cuuhhrap out of their bellies.

And when they wake up, I shake their hands

And run off with their pants

Side note: so one time I took a MASSIVE ddong and the toilet was a little high up so my feet didn’t touch the ground and then i didn’t know but there was a large build up of gas behind my poop so when it was released it shot out at 3 x 10^8 m/s (speed of light for people who aren’t physicists…) and actually lifted me off of the toilet.

And then I heard applause and saw that I was on a game show.

And then I woke up and realized I had pooped in my bed

So I placed it in Mike’s arms while he was sleeping to make it look like he was cradling a small, brown yam.

It was really my poop

This is John YoHan Choi recording live from somewhere

Monday, May 14, 2012
this is actually kinda cute

this is actually kinda cute

(Source: d3leted)

Saturday, November 5, 2011 Monday, October 3, 2011

Surprise

I was in the physical science building for an info session and I had to pee. So I went to the men’s bathroom and went to the urinal to pee. I was the only guy in there. I zipped down and started while leaning my forehead on the wall an inch from my face with my eyes closed.

Note: The urinals are the first of things that you see when you open the bathroom door.

Right after I started I heard the front door open, which isn’t anything foreign in the men’s public bathroom. I mean its a public bathroom, guys come in and out all the time.

But I heard a females voice. I heard her say, “Oh shoot! Wait hold up I’m sorry” in a shaniquah-esque tone. 
My eyes opened wide and I turned to my left and saw a black woman making her way out of the bathroom. Ah. Embarrassing. 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Tale of 2A Egan

I just gave a tour of 2A to 2 young ladies, by myself, without any 2A residents. 

Let me give a little background story.

4:25 PM - Knock onto 2A door, knock knock knock then say John Choi out loud.

4:26 PM- Enter and proceed into living room to take off pants.

4:30 PM- Enter bathroom with NS1150 practice prelim to take while doing my thang in there.

4:32 PM- Screaming TRUE! and FALSE! and ‘What! Thats not true!’ as I am completing the T/F section of the test while sitting on the can. Then I hear a knock on the door. Someone calls out ‘Hello it is Mary Guttenheimer(berg?)!’

Okay no more time labels. Now I am on the toilet and I am panicking because I am the only one in 2A, taking a crap, and I do not even live here. I yell out to Mary, “Ah! Oh! Sorry! I am… sorry I’ll be out!” 

Mary responds, “Oh no its okay! Sorry! We’ll come back in 5 min!”

I was embarrassed. I do what i gotta do rush outta the bathroom and try to find some shorts in jon korean name lee’s room. I prepare to think of lines to say if they ask, “So which room is yours?” and “So how do you like this place?”

When they came I described the layout and all those whatnots. And one of these white girls was filming all that was going on and I was interviewed. I had to hold in my laughs so hard.

And now they’re gone and I will go back to finish what was started at 4:30 PM. My practice test. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
nerdwire:

GREATEST GIF EVER!

sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
dedicated to dankim

nerdwire:

GREATEST GIF EVER!

sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

dedicated to dankim

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Today i have a cute little visitor in my backyard, i will name him mister mittens. hes cute. he keeps walking by my legs and occasionally licks me. kinda gross though cause he might just be a stray cat.

but hes/shes so cute! ew hes/shes shedding on me. okay i kinda just checked. i think its a dude.  okay mosquitos are coming out time to go back in. dangit just got bit 3 times.